i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
