I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
