Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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