I hate your face
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
