with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
They are going to name an STD after you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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