my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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