Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
