problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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