Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize