Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
