we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
