I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
