talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
