ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
