I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
