$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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