Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
