There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
