Banned from zoo.
Again?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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