ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
