he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
