On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
