I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
