Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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