We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
