Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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