Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
