I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize