but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My feet surprised me
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