dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
