I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Pooping to opera.
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