i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
