He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
