me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
did you just send me my own nude
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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