1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
