sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
