"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
