How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
