Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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