On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
