Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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