I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
