I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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