my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
