I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
