the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
