we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
