It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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