Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
