My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
