Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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