we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
