This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
