have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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