Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
