Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
