She is in my trunk
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i came on her dog
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
we should paint friendship bongs
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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