She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize