I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
