Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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