I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
