just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
