apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
