I'm drive I can fine osifer
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I checked into jail on foursquare
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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