i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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