first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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