I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize