I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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