I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
