I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
