Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
