so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
